lujiagrace's Xanga

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 12:54:10 GMT

When the end comes, sometimes you are not that prepared. You prayed, you hoped, you wished, you prepared for the worst to come, but still the result somehow still surprised you.

Reading E.E's book again. This is probably the fifth time i'm reading it. a good book, indeed!

News

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 02:26:17 GMT

News:

David got married last September. (David David David. The sweetest friend ever!!! right, I met him 6 years ago. Wow.....6 years, i can't believe it! He's 28 this year. I met him when he was 22....just graduated from university. I could barely speak any English with him.)

Iris is having a baby in March. (What? She's just got married!!! wait, that was two years ago, and i was invited to be the bridesmaid, but I was about to leave Canada so I missed the wedding. 2 years, 2 years already!! She's having a baby!!!)

Time flies...

Friday, March 02, 2007

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 12:42:26 GMT

Still a mess. Talked to Karen, felt a lot better, but still not knowing what to do. I"m confused, I need more sleep, i couldn't sleep well last night. Actually didn't fall asleep till 2:00 i guess, and woke up again this morning at 6:00.

I need to move to a new city, i need a new life, i need to run away, seriously, run away like a coward...

What should I do?????

I'm back!!!

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 00:43:48 GMT

I'm coming back to Xanga!!!

Because, after comparing to MSN space, I realize how deeply in love i'm with Xanga. On MSN space, letting all the unknown weirdos watching me talking about my life makes me recognize how insecured i am...

Yes i'm writing in English. because i'm stressed. Work is stressful, life is also stressful....i have to make major decisions every single year, moving around like a little pathetic mule, carrying all the suitcases, packing and unpacking, and yes, i'm packing again. Not leaving too soon, but after this one-year contract. Call me a loser if you want, whatever......Mom's friends wanted to introduce me to a 40 yr-old divorced man with a 8 yr-old kid. Right! It's like "buy me a BMW Z4, and I will marry you!!!" It was funny to see how furious mom was at her friend, well, not exactly....It was sweet for mom to defend me like that...I do have a wonderful mom, though she could be very demanding and scary sometimes...

Listened to Tim Hughs this morning, what a lovely guy!

stop indulging in self-pity, Grace! Heads Up!

Pray for His mercy...I've been very bad...

PS. Alan, if you ever have a chance to see this, could you come on MSN again? I really miss you...

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 15:24:49 GMT

Was a little stressed out at work, but then again, i realized it was not just work that burnt me out, i'm also burdened with other things.

I need His grace to continue...

狼狈

Sun, 07 Jan 2007 14:40:22 GMT

很多时候会认为，当例行公事般生活的时候，不可能再出现让人措手不及的事情，但我没想到，不仅能让我措手不及，甚至是落荒而逃。

或许还是会有让人无法再面对的事情，曾经以为没有什么不能面对。

走在寒冷的大街上，想着该如何，却真的是在这么久以来第一次完全没有了头绪。

想了很多后，突然间感受到，人生其实是可以用排除法来make decision的。

也许很多年后想起今天的落荒而逃，只会一笑而过。

trust, yield, focus & obey, 除此以外，我不知道还能做什么了...

happynewyear!

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 08:48:12 GMT

Happy New Year!

不知道新年前该说些什么，希望这一年自己能努力去度过。不奢望什么，却心存盼望。。。

到是觉得朋友们的新年会很精彩，精彩的时候不要忘了我~~

呵呵，God Bless!

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 05:24:37 GMT

Two days before Christmas, still in office, hoping to finish the task by 4:00pm. Had a good time shopping with mom this morning.

Had one dream after another last night, woke up at 6:00 this morning. Felt burdened, and told myself, should relax, should know that I need to set my sights upon Him. Remembered the verse " Come to me, all you who are wearied and burdened."

Didn't have this feeling for, not a long time, but quite a while. This feeling that made me want to cry. The talk was amazing, was so natural and....so easy. I had problems conveying my true feelings to ppl before, and I have hidden all the THOUGHTS inside so well that I thought I didn't have them anymore. But the talk retrieved them in such a way that I just wanted to cry......I thought, seriously thought, I'd no longer mention all these things, I've given them up, thought to myself, "it's ok, so what? I'll live perfectly without them", but maybe I was wrong, or maybe I still need time...

Should I say it was the best Christmas gift for this year? I don't know...deep inside of my heart, I fear to think of it as the best gift...

But I was truly amazed, and I was grateful...

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 05:58:42 GMT

Had to work at home this morning to write a report, and was listening to all these songs stored in my computer. all of a sudden heard Tim Bailey's sermon I downloaded long time ago. 讲的是金钱，人的不满足，人的贪婪。

我深刻体会到了。

昨天活动完了之后看《满城尽带黄金甲》，我没有看完就出去了。宫廷里的明争暗斗，亲人之间的互相残杀，我无法让自己看下去。可电影院里也有人看得热血沸腾，认为是很好看的一部电影。

完全无语。

人不会满足的，人不会因为丰衣足食而满足，人的欲望是永远也无法填满的，这样的人让我害怕。

经常提醒自己要感恩，要在祷告中最先感谢，这样才不会像狮子张开血盆大口一样向神要着各种东西来满足自己的欲望。

要从这个贪婪的世界里让自己回头，定眼仰望主，想起那首old hymn Count Your Blessings，and start humming now .

圣诞可能会在忙碌的工作中度过，多怀念在加拿大的时候在教会里过圣诞的时光。

我最爱的Christmas carols之一，The First Noel.

Before Christmas

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 12:42:56 GMT

想起圣诞节就要到了，觉得很温暖。

今天下班后，拿着实习的工资买了一条裙子。觉得自己有很多年没有穿连衣裙了，小时候，总是很喜欢裙子，可长大后就穿得很少，疲于奔命于追赶公车地铁的路途中，对于穿裙子的想法只能是望尘莫及。因为公司1月会有活动，声明必须要穿晚装，才无奈之下到处找，终于找到了它。

很喜欢这条裙子，因为剪裁，质地，颜色，样式都是我满意的。在这个世界里要找一条不太暴露，但又可以穿到宴会上的裙子，实在太难，对于我这种保守传统的人来说，难上加难，所以说，在去买之前，小小祷告过。

想念以前在加拿大过圣诞前忙着买礼物写贺卡的时光，圣诞对我来说非常特别，今年应该有机会和妈妈一起度过。

希望今年的圣诞会飘着雪。

有点不沾边，但这是我期待将来有的房间的样子